Part 1

(Scene: CWAL HQ)

*It's a normal Friday afternoon in CWAL HQ. Those CWALers that are awake are doing what they usually do while conscious, drinking coffee and playing Starcraft. All, except for one CWALer.*

Jolt: I miss Dragoneyes. Now I have nobody to hit on. Wait! I know!

*Okay, all except for 2 CWALers. As Jolt goes running off to be slaughtered by Frenzy, Fron is sitting infront of CWAL's computer's main terminal.*

Fron: Is it up yet Rask?

Rask: For the 50th time Fron, no!

Fron: Why isn't it up yet?

Rask: How am I supposed to know?

*As Fron argues with Rask, another CWALer fresh from 16 hours of sleep comes down the stairs.*

Pez: Fron, what are you arguing with Rask about this time?

Fron: The map of the week is late. It's usually up by noon.

Pez: That's strange, maybe they....

Rask: File found. Downloading, 207 kb.

Fron: Finally. A little larger than usual this week.

Rask: Download complete, scanning. Warning! Mind control device found! Purging. Purge complete, the mind control has been removed. Have a nice day, and don't bug me, I'm going to run my virus scanner.

Pez: Mind control? In the map of the week? We've got to stop them!

Fron: Let's go wake some people up.

(10 minutes later)

*All of the CWALers are gathered in the main room of their Starbucks Headquarters. Supernook, CWAL co-founder steps forward to address the grumbling crowd of maniacs.*

Supernook: Blizzard has stooped so low as to put mind control in their map of the week. Fortunately, they've foolishly uploaded the map to their FTP server before providing the link to it for others to find, so the damage should be minimal. We've got to go in and replace it with the non-mind control version we have. All we have to do is decide which CWALers to use for this mission.

Maggott: As the new leader of CWAL, I say we use the Wheel of CWAL.

*Grumbles of disapproval are what Maggott's suggestion is met with. Until the CWALers doing the grumbling find themselves staring down the barrel of Maggott's CraterMaster, that is. Supernook goes into a side room and pulls out a wheel with the name of every CWALer on it.*

Supernook: Maggott, care to spin the wheel?

Maggott: I've got a better idea.

Supernook: You do?

Maggott: Yeah. Instead of spinning the wheel, I'm going to throw it into the crowd, and whoever it hits goes.

Supernook: What?!?

Maggott: You heard me.

*Before Supernook can do anything to get the Wheel of CWAL out of danger, Maggott picks it up and throws it at the assembled CWALers.*

Maggott: Judging by the screams of pain, the lucky winners are Glitterspike, MidNight, Snapper, Pez and Gluegun. Get going you five, and foil Blizzard's evil plan while we stay here and drink coffee and play Starcraft.

*The five CWALers who are pulling themselves out from under the Wheel of CWAL all mumble something about their bad luck.*

Supernook: It's not bad luck, you guys get all the glory!

(Blizzard HQ)

*Snapper slips up to the back door and slips one of his cards in between the door and the frame. Since the cards he is using have sharpened edges, it cuts right through the deadbolt keeping the door shut. As he opens the door, he motions the others in. First in is MidNight and Gluegun, followed by Pez and Glitterspike. Snapper looks back.*

Snapper: Come on Supernook!

Supernook: Me and my big mouth. Join CWAL they said. Get all the GLORY they said! I'd rather be gaming!

Snapper: Be quiet and come on, we don't know how long we have.

*Reluctantly, Supernook enters the massive Blizzard complex. The CWALers start making their way to the 50th floor, the last known location of the web servers. They reach the 30th floor, having encountered no resistance.*

Pez: Geez, Blizzard security sure has gone down the crapper since Sephroth left.

Gluegun: No kidding. This is too easy.

*All of the other CWALers glare at Gluegun.*

Gluegun: What? What'd I say? I didn't say....... oh crap.

Supernook: Arm yourselves everyone, we're in for trouble.

*Pez pulls out his spatula.*

Pez: Bring 'em on!

*As the group of CWALers round the corner, they're greeted by a large group of receptionists and security guards. The Blizzard security forces lock their eyes on the group of trespassers.*

Supernook: Uh, sorry, guess we made a wrong turn.

*The group readies their weapons and starts to advance towards the CWALers.*

Pez: They aren't buying it, Nookie.

Supernook: Would you?

Pez: Good point. May I suggest something?

Supernook: Sure, go ahead.

Pez: Thank you. RUN!

*Following Pez's advice, the group turns tail and runs back the other direction.*

Gluegun: *pant* At least things can't get any worse.

Supernook: You fool! You've doomed us all!

*They look down the hall they're in to see a group of Flensers rounding the corner, cutting off their only escape route from the security guards and receptionists approaching from behind.*

Supernook: Well, it's been nice knowing you guys. Except for you Gluegun, I blame you for this.

Glitterspike: There's got to be a way out of this.

Supernook: Do you expect someone to just come along and pluck us up out of the carnage that is about to occur?

Gluegun: Well, you never know what could - URK!

Supernook: Urk? What's urk supposed to mean Gluegun? Uh, Gluegun? Guys, where did Gluegun go?

*As soon as Supernook finished the sentence, a pair of arms reached out of the ceiling and pulled him up just as a Flenser's blade pierced the space he had just been in. He looked around to see who it was who had saved them and found himself looking at the better part of the COTS command cell.*

Magni: You guys are lucky we were here.

Gluegun: See, I told you anything could happen!

Supernook: Yeah. So you guys are here because of the mind control too?

Magni: Yeah, but, um......

Thunder: We kinda can't find the web server.

Jade: Hate to break up this pow-wow boys, but I think we'd better get out of here.

MidNight: What makes you say that?

*Before Jade can make her reply to MidNight, a stiletto heel came flying through one of the holes the CWALers had been pulled up through.*

MidNight: Okay, I get it. Follow me, I know where to go.

*The combined group of CWALers and COTSers head off though the superstructure of the massive building, following MidNight.*

(Fade to black)

Part 2

(Blizzard CEO's Office)

*A look of disappointment spreads across the CEO's face as the Map of the Week web page loads on his computer and he reaches for the intercom.*

CEO: You there Joan?

Secretary: Joan tripped and was stepped on by a Receptionist last week sir. I'm her temp, Diane.

CEO: Really?

Secretary: Yes sir, but I hear her punctured lung is healing just fine sir.

CEO: Pity. Could you call GFraiser in here please?

Diane: Yes sir, he's on his way now.

CEO: Excellent. Send him in as soon as he gets here.

*A few moments later, the door to the CEO's office creaks open and the head belonging to Blizzard's webmaster poked in.*

GFraiser: You wanted to see me sir?

CEO: Yes. Why isn't the map of the week up yet?

Gfraiser: Well, it's up on the FTP sir, but I haven't gotten around to putting up the web page for it yet.

CEO: Well get it up! By not putting it up, you're giving CWAL a chance to foil our plans yet again!

Gfraiser: Yes sir, I'll get it up right now and post on the War Room about it.

CEO: See that you do.

*As the Blizzard Webmaster hurries off to do the bidding of his corporate master, the CEO leans back in his chair and watches a replay of the escape of the CWALers.*

CEO: Now where did you go? No matter, even if you succeed, it will be too late. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Blizzard HQ Superstructure)

*After their run in with the Blizzard Security forces, our heroes are being lead through the superstructure of the Blizzard building by MidNight, attempting to make it to the 50th floor, the location of the Blizzard FTP server. They aren't having much luck.*

Magni: Wow, those mutant pygmies sure did bite!

Supernook: I wouldn't say they bit, they were kind of annoying, yes, but.........

Magni: No, I mean that literally! My legs still hurt from those sharp little teeth! MidNight, are you sure you know where you're going?

MidNight: Of course I do, it's right through this vent.

*Midnight kicks the vent a few times until it falls to the floor, and then turns around and sticks his head out.*

MidNight: Okay, we must have made a wrong turn. Everybody go back. Fast.

Gluegun: Why the rush? Where did you take us?

*An explosion erupts behind MidNight as he hurries away from the exit to the vent system.*

MidNight: Um, Flenser storage I think.

CWALers and COTSers: WHAT?!?

MidNight: Don't worry, I know where I made a wrong turn. It was just on the far side of that pygmy village.

Magni: D'oh!

(A few minutes later)

*Magni was rubbing more bite wounds as MidNight searched for the turn they'd missed the first time through.*

Magni: I'm really starting to doubt your skill with directions.

MidNight: Here it is!

Magni: I stand corrected.

MidNight: Um... there's a bit of a problem.

*Groans could be heard from the CWALers and COTSers present.*

Magni: What this time?

MidNight: Well, I found the vent, but it's a bit smaller than I remember.

Magni: How small?

MidNight: Um... about the width of my head.

Magni: That's bad, that's very bad. Now how are we supposed to get to the web server?

MidNight: Fortunately, we're only 3 floors down from it if we get out of the vents here.

Magni: You sure that's wise? I mean, Blizzard is going to be swarming the area to find us.

MidNight: No, I'm not sure, but I don't see anybody else suggesting anything else.

*Without waiting for a response, MidNight flipped open a vent cover and jumped out.*

(CEO's Office)

*The CEO was watching a bank of security monitors as he saw a CWALer enter into view of one. He immediately reached for the intercom.*

CEO: Diane? Have security converge near the web server. There are CWALers on the 47th floor, and they mustn't be allowed to reach it.

Diane: Yes sir.

*The CEO watched the monitors blink out one by one on the 47th floor. The CWALers were taking them out as they went along. But the damage had already been done; Blizzard knew where they were.*

(47th Floor)

*Gluegun watched as Thunder destroyed yet another security camera.*

Gluegun: Doesn't that just tell them where we are?

Thunder: On the way in, yes. But it'll make it that much harder to track us on the way out.

Gluegun: Think we'll need it?

Thunder: Given our combined luck so far on this mission? Yes.

Magni: Be quiet you two, I think I hear something up ahead.

*Supernook walked up to the corner and peeked around the edge. A moment later, he ducked back around the corner, white as a ghost.*

Supernook: May I suggest something?

Pez: Would it be that we run?

Supernook: Yeah, how'd you know?

Pez: It stood to reason...

MidNight: Quick everyone, back the way we came! We'll hide in that mutant pygmy village!

Magni: D'oh!

(Mutant Pygmy Village)

*Jade was tending to Magni's bite wounds using one of the various stones she carries with her. Magni, in turn, was waiting for TheDeamon to return from scouting.*

Jade: There you go, all better.

Magni: What I don't get is why they were only biting me.

*Thunder hides a vial of "Mutant Pygmy Bait" behind his back and walks out trying not to attract attention.*

Magni: And where is TheDeamon? He should be back by now.

*TheDeamon flows back into a humanoid form behind Magni.*

TheDeamon: Who said I wasn't?

Magni: Don't DO that! Anyway, what did you find out?

TheDeamon: Well, there is no way we're getting anywhere near the web computer. I swear every security guard in the building is on that floor. On the upside, we should have no problem getting out of the building if we so choose. MidNight's torching of the vent is keeping them out, for the moment.

MidNight: I suggest we do just that then. There's nothing we can do right now. We'll come back with more CWALers, try a different approach. Maybe just burn the thing to the ground or something.

Magni: Getting out of here would probably make the most sense, but I'm not too sure about that alternate plan. We'll head back to HQ as well, see if we can come up with something. That, and I want to get as far away from these pygmies as possible.


*The 6 CWALers walk back in the front door to the Starbucks. They're immediately met by Maggott.*

Maggott: Good work people, Rask says the file on their FTP server is clean.

*The six just respond with dumbfounded looks. Finally, Supernook is able to speak again.*

Supernook: We didn't do it... We couldn't even get near the web server.

Maggott: Then who...?

Pez: Who cares. The important part is that the mind control is gone and we can play yet another quality map.

(CEO's Office)

CEO: What do you mean the mind control is gone?

Gfraiser: Well, it seems that the CWAL attack was actually a diversion. While we were busy keeping them from getting to the server, someone hacked into our network and replaced all of the mind control copies.

CEO: They're getting smarter... Either that or luckier. It's up to you to do better next time Gfraiser. If you hadn't dragged your feet publicizing the release of this map, the plan may have worked.

Gfraiser: I'll do better next time, sir.

CEO: Just be happy that there is a next time.


*Whyte is lounging around watching TV when Magni, Thunder, Jade and TheDeamon come back through the door.*

Whyte: Where have you guys been?

Magni: We went to Blizzard to get rid of the mind control in their map of the week.

Whyte: Geez, I wish you'd told me before you left, I wouldn't have bothered to hack in and replace all of the infected copies.

Magni: You WHAT? You mean we went through all of that for NOTHING?

Whyte: Looks like it. Just goes to show you that communication is important, doesn't it?

*By this time, Magni had already left the room.*

(Fade to black)