A PFBS Barbecue
How 5 People Can Get The Attention Of Fire Departments From 30 States, 7 Provinces, 1 Territory, 10 Caribbean Islands, And Every South American Country North Of The Equator

(Scene: A Patio Somewhere In The Caribbean, at night)

*The patio is empty. There are 10 chairs set out around a round patio table. There is a barbecue pit off to one side. A door that opens out onto the patio, well, opens. Thunder and Magni walk out.*

Magni: Exactly who’s idea was it to have a barbecue??

Thunder: The Speds, who else. It took them months to come up with this.

Dark Nexus: I thought that you planned this Thunder? Oh, and I brought the drinks.......

Thunder: I didn’t notice you come out Nexus. I did, after the Speds mentioned it. I wanted to have it sometime before the sun goes nova........

*The door opens again, and Kebs comes out, followed by the Speds.*

Nexus (to the Speds): Hey, guys! I think maybe you should light the pit! (To everyone else) Everybody inside, NOW!

*While Nexus, Kebs, Magni and Thunder rush back into the building, the Speds move towards the fire pit, grinning from ear to ear.*

(Scene: XILE HQ)

Aurus: Anyone else see that flash of light over there???

*The rest of XILE, who are plying Starcraft, just grunt.*

(Scene: The Caribbean)

*Magni, Nexus, Kebs and Thunder come back out of the building. The chairs and table are gone. Beside the now lit fire pit, are the Speds, barely recognizable because they are black as charcoal, covered in soot.*

Nexus: OK guys, good job, but next time, try using the little button over there instead of the 100 cans of gas......

*The Speds get an expression of pure stupidity on their faces.*

Nexus: Aaaaaaaaanyway, who’s bringing the meat Thunder?

Thunder: Ummmm, well, you see.......

Kebs: You forgot to give that job to anyone.

Thunder: Ummmm, well, yeah actually.

Kebs: Fine. I’ll be right back.

Nexus: Need some help?

Kebs: No, thanks.

*With that, Kebs mumbles something and disappears, leaving a look of frustration on Nexus’ face.*

Thunder: Maybe I should supervise the Speds at the firepit......

*Dark Nexus and Magni glance over at the Speds. What they see is ten foot flames and one Sped with his hair on fire. Just then the Sped realizes this and remembers that dirt will put out fire. In an attempt to put his head out, he dives head first into the ground. Unfortunately, he did this into the patio stones, so his hair is still on fire.*

Magni: Ummm, yeah. That would be a good idea.

*The door opens, and Bergling walks out whistling. Magni is the first to recognize the tune, and dives for cover. Thunder soon does the same. Nexus isn’t paying attention.*

Nexus: Hey guys, would one of you..............

*He finally notices Bergling whistling. Immediately recognizing the tune as the Inspector Gadget Theme Song, he whips out his trusty shot gun and blows off Bergling’s head.*

Nexus: I HATE that song!!!! CRAP!!! NOW IT’S STUCK IN MY HEAD!!!!! ARGH!!!!!

*Dark Nexus clutches his head and starts pacing back and forth babbling incoherently.*

Thunder: $10 says snap out of it within 1 minute of when Kebs gets back.......

Magni: You’re on. Lets get a Sped over here to clean up this mess.

*Magni motions to a Sped, who comes over and starts to torch the area around Bergling’s headless body. Right about then, Kebs then reappears carrying a package of hamburger patties, and sees Bergling dead on the ground.*

Kebs: What happened??

*Magni and Thunder motion towards Nexus, still pacing back and forth.*

Kebs: Oh. Inspector Gadget?

*Magni and Thunder both nod yes. Nexus, noticing Kebs’ return, stops pacing and shakes his head for a second, and regains complete composure.*

Thunder: You owe me $10 Magni.

Magni (grumbling): Yeah, here ya go.

*Magni hands Thunder $10.*

Kebs: Anyway, here is the meat.

Nexus: Everybody like theirs well done??

*Kebs, Magni and Thunder all nod yes.*

Nexus: OK.

*Dark Nexus walks over to the barbecue pit and hands the patties to the Speds.*

Nexus: Rare all around guys.

Sped #1: Dudes, I think the fire is getting kinda low.

Speds 2-5: Definitely dude.

*Hearing this, everyone else runs for the building.*

(Scene: XILE HQ)

Aurus: Anyone see that one? I coulda swore I saw a flash of light that time......

*The rest of XILE, who are plying Starcraft, just grunt.*

(Scene: The Caribbean)

*Everyone else emerges from the building.*

Nexus: Once again guys, I think you should go a little easier on the gas.........

Speds: Gnarly! The burgers are done!

*A Sped walks over with the burgers on a plate. Where there should be 4 patties well done, there are 4 small black lumps, barely recognizable as severely burnt hamburger patties.*

Thunder: Who’s up for MacDonald’s?

Kebs: Sounds good to me.

Nexus: Good idea Thunder.

Magni: What are we waiting for?

*The 4 of them walk to the door and enter the building, just in time, because the Speds decided to stoke up the BBQ pit.*

(Scene: XILE HQ)

Aurus: Now I KNOW I saw a flash of light that time.....

*The rest of XILE, who are plying Starcraft, just grunt.*

(Fade to black)